Still Walking in the Light

I posted this piece originally about two years ago - when I still lived in the little apartment next door to church.  I don't walk to church anymore, but I do still walk a lot and sometimes when it's very bright out and it has snowed.... I can picture the morning written about below.

Since I have many new readers, I thought I would post it again.  I hope you enjoy it.

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I live so close to my church that I walk to church – snow, rain, cold – I walk. I really couldn’t park much closer than I live so there is no point in driving. Mostly, I enjoy it. It gives me a little space to put away home and get my mind ready for church. I love church, by the way, which you already know if you know me at all.


The sky was so intensely blue, the sun so intensely bright and the snow so intensely white that it actually hurt my eyes. I was teared up and struggling to see where to place my feet as I walked. Maybe you have walked in a light as bright, too? Well, this is how my writer’s eyes lived the moment….

My eyes are tired. They are puffy and dark and small and full of unbidden tears. The brightness of the sun makes me look away and down. Instinct tells me it’s too bright! I can’t see before me. I can’t open my eyes. Not only the sun is bright, but the snow reflects that light and throws snowflakes at me formed on the wind. They dart at me like tiny daggers pushing me back.

I want to shield myself from the brilliance, do something to stop the burning. I should have just stayed inside, tucked away, in my dark, quiet, space.

But I need to go to church.

I can’t stay where I am if I’m going to grow. I need to be fed by the community that is church.

I need some iron to brush against me and rough off the edges. I need some gentle voices to fill the empty places. I need to have someone touch me, hug me, tell me they are glad I’m here! I need someone to pull away the aloneness and give me value.

I need to tell someone they make me smile, to give encouragement to someone else, to let them hear me pray, to sing, to share the joy He brings.

I understand the sharpness of the light. I know the scientific implications. My mind is wrapped around it.

I know why I must leave my little apartment behind and get through it.

But recognizing and living are two different things. No one can walk through the light for me. No one can clean the burn – only my tears can clear my vision. No one can keep walking for me. I must see where I need to be and I must do what it takes to get there.

Walking through the brilliance, I see His majesty at a whole new level.

The Life-Light blazed out of the darkness; the darkness couldn't put it out. John 1:5, The Message

 

To order a copy of A Book of Pages About Crossing Bridges or a Friend Named Jesus,

 please visit my website:  Writer's Pages

Facebook:  Author Kris A. Newman

Just Another....

Another birthday passed.  Another milestone reached.  Another day down.

But writers, you know, don’t ever see things quite that black and white. 

I am one of those people who are both celebratory and reflective on my birthday.  I like to eat and sing and laugh and birthdays are great opportunities for that.  I am always somehow just a little jazzed on my birthday even before I’m hopped up on sugar.  

People say so many nice things to you when it’s your birthday.  The advent of Facebook and Twitter have magnified those opportunities.  People who you forgot you knew throw all kinds of lovely words at you on your birthday.  

I know some people think those internet re-connections are shallow.  I think it’s nice.  And I’m pretty sure that people mean what they say when they are sending a birthday wish.  After all, they make the effort.  That’s nice.  Thoughtful.  Sometimes their words are very generous and they do all sorts of good to my ego.

I even have a couple of friends who send actual greeting cards with handwritten messages in them.  Love that.  To think that they took time before a particular date on the calendar to think of me.  That’s very nice.

There is usually lunch or dinner out on my birthday, too.  Which is fun.  I like any excuse to get together with people I like to be with to laugh and eat.  Presents are totally optional.  But laughter is required.

This year’s “birthday supper” was especially funny to me because I was out to eat with some absolutely fantastic, energetic, faith-filled young people. The fresh generation of leaders who are dedicated to changing the world for good.  They didn’t know it was my birthday until some point during the meal.  I told them they were my party – SURPRISE!  They turned the joke on me by buying my meal and then ordering the chocolate brownie and ice cream with a candle in it and singing to me!  So sweet.  So fun.

I was just trying to not be alone and found myself wrapped up in the kindness of others.  What a great gift.

Reflective is the other side of the coin for my birthday.  More than New Year’s Day, I think of what the year has held and measure where I am compared to where I want to be.  This year held all kinds of public writing since I met the editor of 5ive for Women magazine.  I bought a house, too.  That’s kind of a big deal.  

Some things have stayed the same.  Same job, same car, same quiet lifestyle.  Time seems to go by in flashes of sun and moon and suddenly I’m another year older.

I wonder what my Grandma and Grandpa would think if they saw me now.  Would they be proud?  Would they be comfortable with where I live and who I spend my time with?  What would they think of the focus points of my days?  How would they weigh my actions in light of what they hoped for me?  

More than any other time, birthdays make me think of that kind of thing.

I also think of all the birthday events that have come before.  I don’t compare one to the other.  I lay them out and review them like pictures in a photo album.  Balloons and hugs and flowers and angels and food served in so many places.  And laughter.  Oh my goodness!  Deep, hilarious, soft, chuckling, long and short of it laughter stringing each year’s memory to the next. 

By the way, call me crazy, but God always has it snow a little on my birthday.  I can’t think of a year He has let me down.  It’s like He’s reminding me that whatever the year behind held and whatever time before will bring, He is with me.  That’s nice, too.  

I don’t know how other people see personal holidays, but as for this writer: a birthday is a gift.  As someone told me on Facebook, being older is a gift not granted to many people.  It’s the kind of gift that gets unwrapped, shared, and then tucked away to take out on rainy days.  

I liked my birthday this year.  It held so many quaint moments of generosity.  I hope I am as good to others as they are to me.  

Below zero chill outside.  Frozen stars shimmering in the black winter sky.  Blanket of snow glowing.  

Another birthday passed.  Another milestone reached.  Another day down.

That’s how this writer sees birthdays.

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To order a copy of A Book of Pages About Crossing Bridges or a Friend Named Jesus, 

please visit my website:  Writer's Pages

Facebook:  Author Kris A. Newman

EBooks on Kindle!

The following is an informational post to inform those who are techno-savvy and Kindle owners that the books which I have authored (two, to be exact) are now currently, immediately, as never-before-previously available for purchase or borrow Kindle. 

There.

I said it.

To be more simplistic, I repeat:

The Book of Pages About Crossing Bridges is on Kindle.  Find it here:  Kindle Book of Pages

AND

A Friend Named Jesus is on Kindle.  Find it here: Kindle Friend Named Jesus

Let me know what you think.

Thanks, by the way, for being readers of words.  Without you, where would a writer like me be?

For those of us without Kindle who would like a book or ten, please stop by the website.  
Find it here: Writer's Pages Webstore

Thanks, again.

This message has been brought to you by Kris A. NewMan, A Writer With Too Many Words

Satistically Speaking

Now, you know, I'm not much for numbers.  I always seem to have them in the wrong columns, the wrong proportions or at the wrong times.  From my checkbook balance (which is never quite enough) and my weight (which is always more than enough) and the number of forks versus spoons in the drawer (which is never the same) - numbers elude me.

Mostly that's ok.  I'm a writer.  I live in the realm of adjectives, adverbs, prepositional phrases and other grammatical building blocks which make my world go round.

Today, though, I'm going to throw some numbers out for you.

420 - people who entered the Goodreads.com Give-A-Way
3 -  people who will get a free book for having done so

177 - Goodreads.com Books To Read Shelves on which my name appear

5,000+ - Times someone in the United States has clicked on this blog page
227 - Times someone in Russia has visited here

572 - References to here from KrisANewman.webs.com
572 - References to here from Facebook
  (Twitter references haven't made it to the top ten .... yet....)

387 - Clicks on Daddy's Hands Post (still most popular)
300 - Clicks on Music Sings the Colors of My Life
124 - Clicks on Another Stone Laid in the Path (aka - Seth and Evelyn's Wedding Post)


Unnumbered - Times I have looked over these stats and wondered who you are, where you are and why you read my ramblings.

If you are interested in a free book, want to talk about books, have books you have written and wish someone would tell you what they think of them - visit Goodreads.com.  There will be another give-a-way there soon involving my humble additions to the bookcases of the world.

Look me up there or on Facebook as Author Kris A. Newman.

Oh, wait, one more set of numbers -
  2013 - Year that will bring brand new blessings to you and yours!