Happy New You!

Aha!  There it is!  The September/October edition of the Chippewa Valley's premier women's magazine is on the stands. Here is the link to the website where you can find full editions.  5iveForWomen

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Here's to a Happy New You!

Autumn always catches me by surprise.  It seems as though I go to sleep one night to warm summer breezes and wake up to a cool catch in the sky.  The trees burst in gold and red.  Shadows are sharper and longer.  Autumn is here!

Other seasons sort of slide into each other.  The air warms slowly in spring bringing bits of bright flowers one bloom at a time.  Spring slips into summer with temps climbing with the corn.  Even winter sneaks in behind Thanksgiving and teases until Christmas.  But autumn bursts in, forcing the door wide open and catching me off guard.  One of these years I will remember to throw a jacket in the car for those days that start with the AC on and end with a chill.  

The “Back to School” ads should be my first warning sign.  Every marketer worth their salt will take advantage of it.  All the things a student needs to be the smartest, best dressed, most popular shout from every vantage point.  Every corner store touts all the right tools to give the student the best boost.

Even with all those red and orange shouting sale signs, autumn shocks me.  The leaves begin to fall, the flowers begin to fade and the bustle of summer gives way to matters of great importance.  It feels like autumn should be the beginning of the year.  Maybe it’s all the stacked up years of school behind me, but I feel like I should be doing something new every fall. 

Life seasons are like that, too, I have found.  We skip our way through the school and work years -building careers and families one small moment at a time.  Laced with laughter, stitched with weary work, life builds a full photo album of Kodak moments.  

We are in college or engaged or starting a new career.  We sing through the pages presented hardly noticing the pace increasing stanza by stanza.  Possibly children are added to the symphony bringing their own joyful sounds to the concert.  No time to stop and listen!  The conductor pushes us forward to the fine!

Wise live-rs soak up the memories banking them against the future.  They take long walks holding small hands.  They swim and boat and splash while the sun is high.  They take time for coffee breaks with friends absorbing the good of their fellow travelers.  These are people who know it is much easier to carry a burden with a friend than to stumble along alone.  They use the precious commodity of time to stash away smiles to pull out when the season changes.

Because, one day, suddenly, without warning it changes.  The nest is empty, trauma knocks on the door, the company downsizes and we find ourselves looking at a new path that we didn’t expect to see.   Change appears and challenges our perceptions.  It’s disconcerting when everything we worked so hard to build begins to fall.  The very foundation beneath us shakes until up is down and down is up.

The trick to getting through the change is to find something to focus on that is good, beautiful, fulfilling.  Use the season to your advantage.  Pull from the storehouse of relationships you have built in the summer season and you will find shelter and strength against the hard days.  

It’s likely you cannot control the catalyst of this change anymore than you can put the leaves back on the trees.  It’s likely you didn’t realize how much of yourself you had given away to the summer sunshine and now you find yourself depleted and chilled.  It’s likely you have been made to stop, to wait for the bus, to hold the new tools given by someone else as you face an uncertain day.  

What does “normal” look like now?  When the rain stops dripping and the wind stops blowing and all the golden drops of promise have swirled away, what remains?  Your character, your loved ones, your talents. 

Like a kid with a new school year, look beyond the challenges and invest in a new outcome.  

You will find deeper riches in this season.  Kick up that carpet of leaves and dance on the crunchy floor of them!  Invite a friend in and treat them to tea for two!  Breathe deeply of the fresh, crisp air!  Fill your lungs and sing! 

If autumn has caught you by surprise, unwrap the present and see what blessings it holds.  Today is the first day of the rest of your life.  Love lavishly.  Live deeply.  Laugh richly.  

To order a copy of A Book of Pages About Crossing Bridges or a Friend Named Jesus, please visit my website:  Writer's Pages

Facebook:  Author Kris A. Newman

Unsettled

I happened on something I wrote sometime ago and it seems to fit my life again today. See, when life happens to writers, we think and re-think and balance and gauge and feel and consider. We only seem to be impulsive. But nothing is done without consideration.

And so, I share with you a struggle of change through a writer's eyes.

Here and there
March 18, 2008

The bridge downtown that connects a piece of victory and defeat for me has written on a cross bar, “where you always wanted to be.” I have a picture of that at my desk at work.

It’s true.

This is where I always wanted to be. I’ve always wanted to be a student and I love it. I’ve always wanted to be comfortably independent. And I love it. I’ve always wanted a little more freedom, a little more space, a little more urban, a little less race.

And I love it.

But there’s something still not settled about me.

We’ve come a long way this year.

From the woman who was terrified to be driving alone at night, to the traveler who decides when it’s time to leave. From the woman whose life was dictated by someone else’s whims or ideas or notions to someone who makes her own choices and knows her boundaries. From someone who checked her thoughts at the door of her mouth holding them against reproof to someone whose words are received as if wise.

But there’s something still not settled about me.

I like my job, mostly. It’s mentally challenging and draws my creativity, my energy. There’s not much personal reward. It’s not factory work, but sometimes it feels like it. One case looks like the next at my level of involvement. One mistake is just as big as the one before it and the one that is still to come. I push myself to know more, be more efficient, be wiser.

But push comes to shove and then the bucks stop. I worry about when that day will come and what will I do?

It’s different when you’re the bill paying, card carrying, identified head of household. Even if you’re the only one in the household even you have to eat sometimes. Having cash in the bank is an important element.

But I have never been about how much money I make. That’s what I am unsettled about.

I have to make money. I have to live. No one is taking care of me. The things I invested in were people and the people have returned a great deal to me, but I still have to have electricity.

I want to impact the world. I want to be an agent of change. I want to do something good and positive with the pieces of my history. I want to make a difference.

But I have to make the car payment.

I am not extravagant, but starting over comes with a price. And so I’m paying it.
For how long? And when will I feel strong and independent enough to walk on water a little farther out? I got here on personal strength and determination – and the hand of God. Say what you want, but He was clearly a part of the transformation that has made me newer. And I trust that He is orchestrating and designing the future. In fact, I am sure He is the unsettler. Not willing to allow me to fade into mediocrity, He pushes me on.

It’s not about the amount of work or the cash at the end of the day. It’s about feeling like I matter. Like my history has a purpose to help someone.

I’m good with being unsettled as long as I know it’s pushing me on and not pushing me down.